✦Weekender✦ Pirate party | Luxe coffee | Laugh contest | Mystic fair | Naughty mag | Granola rummage | Swift brunch 🦜

FROM MAJOR-LEAGUE laughs to peg-leggy pirate raves to unicorn murder capers, here's what made The List this weekend. Cheers! – Andrew Kiraly 🤍

⚾ Friday March 28

• While we folks here toiling at 4:17 a.m. on the Friday shift at The List's ✦Weekender✦ openly admit to never having done any, you know, actual market research or focus groups to determine with any remotely reasonable level of confidence what our readers actually like to do (we instead rely on an old editorial divining method called "wishful projection"), we're fairly confident you're probably not necessarily a fan of Austria's mascara-drenched, leather-armored, explicitly Satanic black metal artists Belphegor. On the other hand, we weekend-shifters also happen to have a highly idiosyncratic soft spot – nay, a deep respect – for an uncompromisingly thoroughgoing and intricately cultivated Nordic cannibal zombie aesthetic, and Belphegor certainly has that. 6p, Swan Dive
• ComedySportz Minor League brings comedy farm team energy to Mom's Basement Theatre with aspiring improv athletes training hard to make it to The Show. These hungry young comics are swinging for the metaphorical fences. They may strike out on occasion – but hey, you gotta cheer on your home team. 7p, Mom's Basement Theatre
• London playwright Lucy Kirkwood's razor-sharp comedy NSFW proves there's nothing less safe for work than working at a men's magazine on the brink of disaster. When a catastrophic publishing blunder puts the staff's already precarious employment in jeopardy, these desperate ink-stained wretches must navigate a juicy ethical minefield of sexism, capitalism, and corporate callousness with the dexterity of Olympic gymnasts on deadline. A Public Fit's staged reading digs ferociously into media's commodification of women with the delicate touch of a tabloid editor choosing bikini photos, all while delivering laughs that are definitely NSFW. 7p, Clark County Library

• Dust off those antediluvian salsa moves as Latin Night spices up El Dorado Cantina's Tivoli Village location, kicking off tonight. The Claudine Castro Band launches this weekly fiesta where ladies can snag half-priced cocktails from 8-9 p.m., while squads of six or more señoritas score a bottle of free bubbly – proving that sometimes the best dance partners come in stemmed glassware. 8p, El Dorado Cantina
• DTLV's raucous mass bike rides are a well-known phenom. Here's one for the skate-inclined: The ESK8 Downtown Rollout. Twice the wheels, half the chance of drawing a 70-foot meat crayon line on Bridger with what was formerly your thigh. 8p, Llama Lot
• I believe it was Aristotle who said, "When there proves an unfortunate dearth of convenient holidays upon which to base a party theme, go with sexy pirates." Liquid Red's Lusty Pirate Masquerade gets piratical at weed-friendly Lexi in a night of gothy peg-legging scurvy mischief with stage shows by Jupiter Lightningstorm, Salem Bastet, and the fittingly named Captain Lady Pants, plus DJs, a costume contest, and lotsa grog. 9p, The Lexi
• West Coast underground hip hop legend Aceyalone never quite achieved the marquee bling of his more bombastic, gangsta-postured peers, but that clearly didn't stop his creative flow, reflected by more than two dozen albums and collabs marked by his signature freestyle fluency. 9p, Ninja Karaoke
• Lol at how the fine print on Kitty's Rave is careful to note that "Event not sponsored by or affiliated with Hello Kitty, Sanrio or its properties." 9p, Area 15

🎀 Hella more weekend here, which may contain taco-fueled lucha libre and chonky himbos:

🌮 Taco frenzy | Stalker musical | Big plant sale | Disco dinner | Cosplay con | Chub dancers | Meow rave

The coolest things to do in Las Vegas this week, ever.

The ListAndrew Kiraly

🧼 Saturday March 29

• Here's a welcome wake-up call for hardcore caffeine fiends and hyperfussy coffee aficionados: Couve is now open at The Gramercy. (Don't mind that stumpy link; they seem to be slow-roasting their rollout promo too.) Less a coffee shop than a devotionally austere caffeine shrine lined with Antonelli marble and white oak, Couve boasts a "luxury coffee experience" with on-site roasting, a bespoke espresso machine, and Koatji, a fermented plant milk founded in Copenhagen. 8a, The Gramercy
• Take note, garage-sale junkies and swap-meet mavens: You might find that the goods on offer at the 12th Annual Blue Diamond Rummage Sale – presumably sourced straight from the quaint granola village nestled into Red Rock – are a quirky cut above your usual curbside clutter offered on your average suburban driveway on any given weekend. 8a, Blue Diamond
• Get earthy with fellow eco-do-gooders at the Las Vegas Wash Green-Up, where you can ensure the continued health of our wetlands – basically, our first-line, au naturel filter for the yummy recycled wastewater we drink – by volunteering to plant native trees and shrubs along this vital waterway. 9a, Clark County Wetlands Park
• This year's Mystic Fair adds hypnotherapy, world beat drums, and belly dancing to its metaphysical menu. Be sure to hit mystical marketplace too, where you can have your future read in tea leaves, tarot cards, or palm lines, while teenagers discover the ancient art of "glamour magic," which I assume involves manifesting the perfect selfie lighting. 11a, Windmill Library
• Projected 75-degree temps mean it's a defensibly sane idea to Picnic With a Purpose amid the boxy retail splendor of DTLV. 12p, Downtown Container Park

▼ Saturday cont'd

• Pour a cold one for Boulder City Beerfest, BC's booziest block party, where over 30 brewery tents, 12 food trucks, and live music transform this quaint historic hamlet into Nevada's unofficial capital of craft beer appreciation for a day. The event organizers generously welcome children and pets "as long as they're kept on a tight leash" – a policy that, after hour four of unlimited sampling, might be more appropriately applied to certain adults sporting souvenir glasses and increasingly suspect balance. 1p, Wilbur Square
• Yeah, yeah, it's cool to shop local. But how about listen local? This is your chance to get a sunny earful of our best bands at Pineapple Fest's park-rocking roundup of Silver State talent, including Secos (irresistibly catchy indie garage), Flamingos in the Tree (wistful strummy disco pop from Reno), and Desert Island Boys (barb-spittin' eastside surfy rave-ups). Check that "shop local" box with the array of vendors hawking art and craft creations. 2p, Lorenzi Park
• Banking meets bungling in Crazy for You, Ken Ludwig's award-winning musical romp that proves love and foreclosure papers don't mix well in the Nevada desert. When New York banker Bobby Child swaps his pinstripes for cowboy boots in the ghost town of Deadrock, he falls head over jazz hands for Polly Baker, the theater owner's daughter who'd rather see him hitchhike back to Manhattan than hand over her family's playhouse. And, of course, it's all packed tighter than a Ziegfeld chorus line with Gershwin classics like "I Got Rhythm" and "Someone to Watch Over Me," as well as mistaken identities, spontaneous tap numbers, and high-wattage, all-purpose razzle-dazzle. 2p and 730p, Summerlin Library
• Tbh, I've become such a hopeless A24 brand whore I would watch seven hours of wall if it was introduced with their logo. Death of a Unicorn promises something much more lively, of course: a crimey caper horror comedy, backended with the always-insightful gab sesh by the smart pod people at Piecing It Together. 6p, Downtown Cinemas
• Down in the basement, Vegas' own The Volsteads are distilling a head-snapping cocktail of rock-infused swing known as "jump blues." Definitely a leap worth taking. 8p, The Mob Museum
• You had me at "spring", then "lesbian," then "takeover." 11p, La Mona Rosa

📷 Sunday March 30

• Swifties who prefer to supplement their fandom with a bit more sashay will have plenty of fashionable fun to feast on at The Taylor Swift The Eras Tour (Drag Brunch Version), featuring drag performers vamping from every era of Taylor. Dress up in your favorite Swift-themed fit, but be warned that you might get pulled on stage. 10a, Ellis Island
• Bent outta shape? Get back into fine form at the Glow Together Market, a kumbaya of local vendors, food, music, and yoga. 11a, Fergusons Downtown
• Forget social media filters – Edward Colver was capturing raw, unfiltered punk rock reality when today's influencers were just a gleam in their parents' mohawked eyes. The legendary photographer who immortalized Black Flag, Social Distortion, and Circle Jerks when they were just angry kids with instruments brings his gritty visual chronicle to "The Eye of Los Angeles Punk," showcasing an era when the only things more dangerous than the mosh pits were the hairstyles. Artist conversation moderated by another legend: L7's Jennifer Finch. 2p, The Punk Rock Museum
• Hawaii's most transcendent musical merger crosses the Pacific to deliver an indigenous power-punch that's equal parts ancestral homage and contemporary innovation. Kaumakaiwa Kanaka'ole joins forces with award-winning supergroup Kulāiwi for Sounds of Hawaii, a night of harmonic convergence that'll transport you straight to the islands without the TSA pat-down. (Is there a TSA anymore?) 7p, Water Street Plaza Amphitheater
• The fact that the name of The Rocketz' lead singer is Tony “Slash” Red-Horse automatically confers 10,000 bonus Punk Cred Points™️on this LA power trio pumping out twangin', bangin' rockabilly stompers that also throb with a surprising poignancy. I'm not crying in my leather jacket, you are! 10p, Sand Dollar Lounge

🙏 Hope you have the raddest weekend. Thanks for your support! – Andrew Kiraly 🤍